A Few Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner.
People in relationships always fight, but whether we fight fair is another story. Avoiding certain phrases will take you one step closer to a happier relationship.
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Are the following phrases a part of your vocabulary when dealing with the love of your life? Removing fighting words from your love lingo will pay dividends. If you don’t, your relationship just might end with a bang! |
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Maybe, we shouldn’t be dating!
Imagine telling your boss, I quit! You wouldn’t do that unless you rally meant it, would you? Sometimes, people in a relationship are tempted to pull out the heavy guns just to get the other person off their backs: If you don’t like the way I scramble eggs, you’ll just never understand me! Maybe, we just shouldn’t date anymore!
It’s really best if you save all the breakup talk for when you truly are ready to end a relationship, don’t use it as a weapon to win the small battles. Otherwise, you risk your partner actually accepting your offer and leaving you with scrambled eggs for two.
I wish you were more like my ex?
Most of us have ex partners who taught us what we do and don’t like from a relationship. Instead of making the person your with now feel like they are staring in some bad romantic comedy, it’s really better to make the person you’re with now wants to feel special. Saying things to make it sound like you’re still hung up on your ex is a no no. It’s really best to tell your current love how your feeling and what your needing, but in the context of the present.
I’m too tired to help you; I had a really busy day at work.
I know its not a lie – you probably are tired from rushing around and dealing with your job all day. But in today’s modern world, when lots of men and women have taxing jobs that keep them running all day, this is a shamefully lame excuse. I’m sure the guy or gal you love is probably just as exhausted as you are, and even if they’re not, they still shouldn’t have to wash your dishes or carry in all the groceries by themselves. If you’re really that tired, workout some sort of trade off regarding chores. Even better, just do whatever it is that needs to be done quickly, then, you can relax and enjoy each other’s company.
Let’s stop living in the past!
Have you ever complained to your partner that they forgot to do
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something, but instead of apologizing they just reminded you of something kind of similar that you once did to retaliate? Nobody’s perfect, but digging back up small infractions from long ago are not hooks to hang your hat on when you want to avoid blame for something you’re doing in the present. Things like; you forgot to give the dog a bath ten years ago! Is no excuse for not giving the dog a bath today? Bringing up past transgressions simply leads to an escalation of the blame game and helps no one.
Do as I say, not as I do!
It can be difficult when you get home and see that the laundry hasn’t been done, but… when was the last time you cleaned the kitchen? If you’re going to criticize your loved one for something they’ve neglecting to do, it had better be something that you do on a fairly consistently basis. Otherwise you’ll seem like a big nag who that demands everyone else gets to work while you kick back and relax.
You’re a boring lover!
You have been dreaming about fireworks for a long time – but your new lover is a two minutes sparkler instead. Understanding you may be frustrated, the worst thing you can do at the moment is insult the person you love for their romantic performance. During intimate moments, when your partner is sharing very private and special parts of them with you, they are at their most vulnerable, so any ridiculing tones can be especially hurtful.
If you want things to heat up, positive reinforcement always yields a better result than criticism. I really love this position works a lot better than; you’re always moving around! Being a bully in bed could just make your love yearn for someone a little less romantically selfish.
You knew how I was when you met me!
On one hand, when it’s not a good idea to get into a relationship with the intention of changing someone; on the other hand, people naturally change as they grow older, sometimes getting better at things like, time management, financial issues or social skills. If one of you is growing and the other is standing still, that could be a big problem. Continually saying that you’re still allowed to go drinking every few nights or continuing to leave the toilet seat up because that’s the way you’ve always been is another way of saying that; You will never change so don’t even hope that I will.
Instead of freezing your personality in time, it’s best to address these types of issues. Offer a few things that you feel you can change and then give some personal reasons why you prefer to stay the same about other issues.
I have nothing to say.
Talking and interacting with your partner is your principal job in a relationship!
If you’re not truly listening to your partner or not expressing yourself – if you’re always saying things like; fine or no problem – then the issues at hand will never get worked out and you and your partner will never feel close to each other. If conversation is stifled you will suffocate intimacy as well. This relationship is limping towards an end.
All of the above are areas to avoid when communicating with a spouse or lover. Are there generic phrases you’ve used or been told by someone else that eventually led to a breakup? Let us know about any phrases that rub you the wrong way. Also, let us know if you’ve learned some good alternative phrases to enhance conversations or lead to closer relationships!
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